Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Middle of the Life Crisis

I has received communication from Laura:

Dear PDP,
Am I having a midlife crisis? I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to find a gentleman friend and buy a sports car and acquire material goods, and have recently dyed my hair a colour that's about 13 years out of context. 

Confused and concerned of Leamington

Welcome Laura! Firstly, I is very much doubting you is having a middle of the life crisis because you isn't in the middle of your life. You can take that one of two ways - you could think, yes he is quite right, I is going to be living much longer than 60. OR... you could think - does he know sumfing I don't? Am I near the end already?!

But anyway, let us not be dwelling!

Ah, Laura, I know what you is meaning though. I has been through a phase myself quite similar to this: chasing after completely unsuitable birds, thinking I look good in a hotdog outfit... what a dog dressed as puppy moment dat was.

But do you know what I say Laura? I say "mid-life crises? schmid-smife smises more like!" or sometimes I say "mid-life crises? mid-life realisation dat we can do whatever we like and it isn't hurting nopuggy and hurray for fast cars and hair dye and ill advised tattoos!"

I think you is perhaps getting the urge to be making a nest with a special gentleman caller and you is needing the fast car to quickly deliver all your material goods back to the nest for the feathering procedure. I cannot explain the hair dye.

I know dat you will get whatever it is your heart is desiring lovely Laura and please to be inviting me round to your nest once it is ready, for I would like to christen it with my holy dog water.

Please to be letting me know how you is getting along and fank you for mailing, it was Pug de Probleme.

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